Here in the real world

Alright so I like to think of myself as a realist.  I believe that things happen for a reason. I may not understand it when they happen but God has a plan and this is how it is supossed to work out. When I was working people called me a walking, talking Hallmark card because when somebody had some news about thier grandma falling and breaking a hip they always looked to me to tell them the truth. In this case it would be "well it's all down hill from here".   I see things clearly, normally, and I like to think that I rationalize things with a clear head. When something bad happens I hope for the best but I know that it may not work out that way.
This morning at 2am while Allie decided to keep me awake until 4am I understood how babies get shaken baby syndrone. I remember thinking this with each of my kids. No I have never shaken any of my babies. I have learned to control myself and my feelings and if I do get the feeling that I am about to lose it then I walk away.  I hear all the time "how could a parent do that to their child?!"  It's not hard.  All it takes is a tired parent and a cranky baby.  I guess because Jay and I both know how easy it is to do we both pay attention to each other and realize when the other is about to lose it and we step in to give the other one a break.
I also understand how someone can leave a child in a car. This has been one of my fears. I have many times driven past the babysitters (when I was working) or completely zoned out while in the car. Again all it takes is a tired parent.  I am also always freaking out when I don't have one of them with me. Like during the Christmas season we will go shopping without the kids and someone will ask us where they are and it takes my breath away for a second when I don't instantly remember where I left them. Did I forget them? Where are they? Then I remember that I left them with the babysitter and sigh in relief. I don't know why I do this. I have never left one of them somewhere or in a car. Maybe it's because we hear so much about it now a day.

So these are the ramblings of a tired worn out mama who is going off of a few hours of sleep. Big night tonight. The Haunted Trail starts and Jay will be working all night on it so I will home alone with the kiddies. Guess I should work on getting a nap while I can. TTYL